Friday, October 22, 2010
Well I'm going to go i am not in much of a mood to talk today.
So till the next time.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I think i have been out for the past 3 to 4 years but i have been with my girlfriend for the past 9 years it was such a long and hard road but we finally made it to have a peaceful and very incredibly happy life. I was married to a man for 12 years and i knew that deep inside there was always something missing and we ended up getting divorced and I met the love of my life i have 2 kids and my kids love her. I use to think that there was no way someone can love someone with such a passion and the love would get stronger as the time passes. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years now and we still talk for hours everyday is like we have not seen each other for day that we need to catch up, lol. We tell each other how can a couple have so much to talk about when they live together. That's us we don't ever stop talking. We have been thru so much and our love is so very strong. Makes me wonder what the difference was between a 12 year marriage that did not survived and a 9 years being together and we can't seem to live without each other and i can't imagine it.
I have a poem that she wrote to me that i read often because its so incredible i will type not the whole poem because its way to long but its this:
for so many years, I stumbled along, muddling through life. Just trying to get by, never knowing true, honest, pure love. The kind of love that takes your breath away. I wished for it. Prayed for it. Fought for it. Risked health and safety for it. Gave up on it. I searched for a soul mate like a hungry man searches for food. I wished for one. Prayed for one. Damned the heavens for not sending me one. Begged for one. Cried because i didn't have one. Gave up on ever finding one.
Then I met you. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful, incredible you. All of a sudden, the world made sense, my live made sense. All the heartache, heartbreak, tears. All the times I ran from my problems, all the twists and turns my life took without my permission. It all made sense. That rugged, weary path was the path that led me to you. For the first time in my life, I was thankful for all the suffering. The suffering made me run, and the running led me here. Led me to you.
Where there was darkness and despair in my life there is now hope, happiness and love. The parts of my heart that had frozen and hardened are now softened and warmed by you. By your love. You showed me I was worth something, worth loving. Made me believe it, made me feel it. Instead of damning the heavens, I thank them every day. For bringing you into my life.
There is more to the poem but way too long to type. I do believe now that with the right person the love can be so strong that it can't never die.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I feel angry all the time i know alot has to do with being tired but alot has to do with the financial situation since my mom fell my business has gone down like from some orders to NOTHING right now maybe i have one order which the profit is $80 and out of that $15.00 i got to give to the courier so is actually $65.00 wow that's for one freaking week. And the boyfriend moving in has not help the money situation he is 19 and started to work now so he has to contribute to the house but he has not gotten paid yet. :( bills are late and other bills are later, and me not bringing money and the kids eating everything they see gets a bit frustrating.
I feel so nervous about my daughter i guess i got to let her do more decisions she is 17 and pregnant so i should let her not depend on me so much just don't know how to do it or if i can let that go, i see her and even though she is pregnant she is my baby girl. How can i not protect her from everything. When she gets in a discussion with her boyfriend i want to tell her what to do or say but i need to learn to keep quiet because they are a couple and they are bringing a child together so i think i have to stay shut but again how do i keep my comments to myself when i hear sometimes his response to her thats not so nice and i want to go to him and kick him in the butt and say hey she is pregnant she is allowed to be moody and sensitive and allowed to feel anything so be NICE. but there i am sitting wanting to say somethign and trying to bite my tongue and not say nothing at all. He is a very good kid at least he is still here facing the situation that says alot right. Just hope they will last they are so young and they are kids bringing a kid to this world i hope it works out with both of them. So now i sit and say tomyself ok shut up and don't say nothing let them handle their mess don't say a word, i hope that works for me. :( i think i am going to lay down before i need to get up and fix dinner. i guess work for today is out of the question.